The Scene:

Toronto, Canada.

All names have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty. Pics to come- lost in a nasty recent glitch.

Friends and such:

Rob: My husband. Younger than me, redheaded, feisty, loyal and loving. super-tech computer whiz, and race car driver on the side. We four years ago, spent a couple of months hanging out before finally realizing we were a couple.

Ed: My best friend, and trusty Straight Male Native Guide. An actor, fellow Nova Scotian, former army boy. We met over a dozen years ago in theatre school. The closeness of our friendship would not be possible were it not for the supreme coolness of-

Paige: Ed’s wife. A West Coast girl, she’s a nurse who's studying to be a chef... both school and work are fulltime. Not surprisingly, I see far too little of her. She is also a talented hostess and a superb decorator. Ed is one hell of a lucky guy.

Mae: Maid of honour, English PhD, confidante supreme, great all-round dame. Our friendship survived the end of both our former marriages and subsequent interesting relationships. She lives with her new hubby Chuck- an American grad student, recent PhD. Yep, they're a Pair-a'- docs.

Seville: Another actor, whose handsome countenance graces a couple syndicated shows. A constant coffee companion and superb wit, Seville is a fifth-degree Akido black belt. He introduced me and Rob.

Mats and Marina: Mats is one of the most generous hosts I’ve ever encountered; at one Halloween party he dressed as Dionysius, and it didn’t look like a costume. He adores chocolate, IKEA furniture, and 80s music. Marina is a lovely, softspoken but devilishly funny redhead who teaches grade school French, and is becoming a screenwriter. I sang at their wedding. They now have a cool little two-year old son.

Troy and Toni: An extraordinarily sweet couple. He’s Canadian, and she’s from England. They live in a University town where Troy is a Registered Massage Therapist, and Toni is a University student, both of them thinkers and travellers. They are the only friends I met through my ex who have chosen to maintain a friendship with both of us. In addition to being unfailingly kind and thoughtful, they are both stunningly gorgeous.

Work:

Major Client is the place where I’ve consulted part time for the past five years or so. An industrial design place that makes Really Cool Stuff. Started by the intense whirlwind Jude, and for a brief time co-owned by the bemusing Ned. About forty people work there, and I’m the only chick who’s not in the office.

The Agency is one of several entertainment/talent agencies that books me as a caricaturist at parties, trade shows and the like.

Family:

Mum: lives out west with her third husband Bob, who was her high school sweetheart. She’s proud of the fact that I can tell her Anything, though I think she sometimes gets more than she bargained for. She is a Ba’ha’i. Looks great in cowboy boots. Sure wish I could see her more often.

Grammy: Lives in Nova Scotia, travels the world. She is a chef who owned and operated a seafood restaurant for over forty years. Now 80, she remains beautiful- one of those blue-eyed blondes, eternally size 8, who can look glamourous while up to her elbows in flour. Grampy was a lobster fisherman when they met. He died at Christmas in 1989.

I have a brother and a sister, both younger..

Gene: lives in Nova Scotia with his girlfriend Julie. They have a four-year-old daughter who is said to be the very image of me at that age- and a toddler son who is every inch his father.

Anne: married for ten years to Chet, is in Northern California. They have a very tall preteen daughter, and redheaded son who's nearly ten. All four of them are deaf, as is every member of Chet’s family.

Robin: is my natural father. I haven’t heard a whole lot from him since I was in my teens. Married for the fourth time. Lives in British Columbia. A charismatic Englishman, I inheirited both my artistic abilities and a love of talking from him.